Waking up alone is not something I want to get used to. I don't know if Michael is punishing me or if he just doesn't want to be around Mariah. Either way, this is going to get old really quick. Staring up at the ceiling, all I could wonder was what the heck I was going to do today. Michael isn't here for the second day in a row. Mariah is with Joseph. I'm pretty lonely. Aside from Bubbles of course. He found himself crawling up into the bed with me. "It's just you and me, Bubbles. I don't know where Michael is. Come on. Let's get you something to eat," I got up, taking his hand in mine as we went downstairs to get some food. Michael and I have gone weeks, months, even a couple of years without talking, but that doesn't bother me to the extent of this. Mariah straight dogged him, and I feel like I didn't defend him enough. I should have defended him. I should have stopped her right there. I should have disciplined her. I should have hit her. Something! But I should not have allowed for her to disrespect my husband. My husband of all people. I shouldn't have allowed that. While I know I didn't intentionally allow it, I feel like I did. And it's hurting me inside to know that Michael may feel like this is all my fault. I've been working on Mariah, I really have, but there is only so much I can do when my mother raised a freaking demon. Bubbles poked at my thigh. Apparently, I spaced out, because I have yet to get his breakfast.
"Sorry, Bubbles. I'm just thinking about your daddy, is all," I began to make his breakfast. This is going to drive me insane. See, right now, I feel like my life revolves around Michael because, without him, I literally have nothing to do, but watch Bubbles. Granted, I have hobbies that he pays for. I have friends, but I don't work. Outside of my hobbies, I feel like I have nothing, but Michael. Well, this is certainly making me think about a lot because Michael could be doing God knows what. His life doesn't revolve around me as mine does his. I've never thought of myself as a housewife, mostly because we don't have children. I don't have to clean. I can cook when I want because we have chefs for that. I am far from a housewife. But what am I? Just a wife who doesn't do anything, but sticks by her husband's side? Who am I? I have yet to fully figure that out yet. While it hurts that I haven't seen Michael in two days nor have I spoken with him, I've got to find something else to do, but my life seems to be super boring as of right now and we've got to change that. Thankfully, I guess, Mariah came in the picture because my life didn't revolve around Michael as much with her around, but interestingly enough that has been a thorn in the side of our marriage. My God. What to do. What to do. I have the whole world to my disposal. No one knows I'm married to the Michael Jackson. I can honestly go do whatever the heck I want, and no one knows that Mrs. Michael Jackson is out here doing it. I could go be with Carol again, but that's going to get boring really quick. I refuse to check in on Mariah and Joseph. Bubbles is all I have right now, besides my writing. In my writing classes, we've been learning about how to write poetry, how to grasp the reader, and how to put all of our emotion into our writing, but what on earth do I write about in a time like this? Writing a book would be nice. Outside of being a teacher, my dream has always been to become a world renown writer like Toni Morrison, Octavia Butler, W.E.B Dubois, Maya Angelou, you name it. I would love to have my writings along the likes of theirs. It's just going to take a while. But you have to have a life outside of writing, right? Seems all I have is Michael. While it's not wrong, it most certainly can be bad when he's not here. The phone rang, instantly ripping me away from my endless train of thoughts.
"Hello?" I answered, praying to God it was Michael.
"Shayla," Mariah sniffled on the other head. "I," sniffle, "want," sniffle, "to," sniffle, "come," sniffle, "home," she cried. "I don't want to be here! Can you please pick me up?"
"I'm surprised Joseph is letting you use the phone..."
"He's gone," she sniffled. "Mrs. Katherine is letting me use the phone. Can you please pick me up? Please! I've learned my lesson."
Shaking my head, no, "I don't think you have."
"But I have, Shayla. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I disrespected you and Michael. I'm sorry I gave daddy two heart attacks. I don't want him to die!" She cried louder. Jeez. Did Joseph tell her dad was going to die or something? "Can we start over?"
I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't. I had to stay serious, "start over with what?"
"Once you pick me up, I'll be the most disciplined kid you've ever seen!"
"It's only been two days, Mariah."
"Two days with this man is enough, Shayla! You can't let me stay here any longer!"
"Um... I think you should because you're still talking to me like you're crazy."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Honestly, can you please get me, Shayla. He's on his way back home!"
"Has Ms. Fine been coming over for your studies?"
"Okay, so your schooling is coming along well?"
"Yes, ma'am." Oh, so Joseph has gotten to her I see... Nah. She needs a little more time with him.
"Sounds like you're learning your lesson over there."
"Yes, ma'am. I am."
"I'm glad to hear that. Well, Michael isn't home. He hasn't been home in two days now."
"Nope, so being that he's not home yet, I think it'd be more appropriate if you stayed over there until he came back."
"No, Shayla!" She started to cry again. "I'm sorry Michael isn't back! I didn't mean to make him leave!"
"I know you didn't," I nodded. "I'm sure he'll come back shortly and in due time, I'll come to get you as well. Do as you're told. Mom and Dad told me to tell you they love you. I'll talk to you later. Love you, sissy," I hung up the phone as she cried. Poor, girl. That's what happens to spoiled kids who don't get their way. I blame mom and dad though. At least dad accepts the fact that he's wrong though. Mom on the other hand? I'm sure she doesn't feel like she did anything wrong by Mariah. The evidence is clear. Mariah not only needs a whooping but an adult who won't kiss her butt. She found her match in Joseph when it comes to that. I can't mope around here. I've got to get out. Somebody has to watch Bubbles. But I have to get out. Shake a little something. Figure out what I like and dislike. I'm twenty-six years old. My life basically revolves around my husband. My husband is not here and it's driving me crazy. I've got to get out of here. And I want my husband.