Chapter 11

July 7, 1996

"Yeah, no. While y'all got your shirts open and showing skin, Ima wear this. I'm not showing chest. You can keep that." Taj shook his head as he looked between me and his brothers.

"Taj, what's the problem this time?" Taryll rolled his eyes.

"They want me to show skin. I'm not comfortable."

"I'm wearing a beater. You can't wear a beater?"

"Absolutely not! I'll wear this black undershirt with the dress shirt to cover it. I'm not comfortable. Uncle Mike, tell them it's okay for me to not be comfortable showing skin." Taj whined to me. I don't know what it was with him today, but everything just wasn't going right for him. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. And the best thing I could do was tell him everything was going to be alright despite it "not" being okay in his mind.

I looked at Ralph. "He's going to wear the undershirt. If he's not comfortable, he's not comfortable." I shrugged. TJ looked at his older brothers in confusion but kept to himself as he always did. The fans dubbed him the "sexy" one, so he didn't really care if Taj wanted to do it or not. He just wanted to get on with the short film. He was the frontman of it anyway.

"Thank you." Taj began buttoning a couple of the buttons.

Taryll scoffed. "Jeez, you're going to button it too?"

"Mind yours!"

"Can we just get on with the video?" TJ finally asked.

"Come on, guys. They've got to get that shot of you all walking." I gathered my nephews and led them to the hallway beside the pool. "Why" was released as a single in January and the boys really wanted a video for it, so we went ahead and rented a mansion, I called up some people I knew and made it happen. Now Taj is acting like he doesn't want to cooperate on something he asked for.

I sat back with Ralph and watched as the cameraman captured the boys walking. Once Ralph shouted "action," they began to walk down the hallway. Out of everyone, TJ looked the most interested. Taryll was feeding off of Taj's energy as it had always been between the two of them. Taj kept a straight face and while he tried not to look mad, it certainly didn't translate well on camera. I whispered the issue to Ralph to which he yelled, "cut!"

"Was it something I did wrong?" TJ wondered.

"No," I stood up. "Taj, you alright? You want to chill out for a little bit? Because you look mad on camera."

He sighed. "You know what? You're right. Let me go back to my dressing room for a little bit. I've got a lot on my mind." He speed-walked to his trailer. Whatever it was was really bugging him. I probably should go check on him, but for the past hour and a half, I've been checking on him. I can't continue to baby him. He's a grown man. While I'm always going to see him like the baby he once was, I have to remind myself he's grown sometimes. He's going to have to get through whatever is bothering him on his own right now.

"What's with him?" Taryll rolled his eyes.

"I checked on him earlier. He wouldn't tell me. He'll come to us when he's ready." I shrugged. TJ took this pause in production as an opportunity to talk to one of the girls on set. I shook my head. "What's going on between him and Kimberly?"

"I don't know. They haven't been talking much." That explains that then. I went to sit at the edge of the pool and pulled my socks and shoes off. Shooting this and the short film to "Stranger in Moscow" all while rehearsing for a tour has left me so restless. Even pushing forty, I'm still moving like a twenty-year-old. I need to slow down. Let my nephews continue with this life. But the label and my fans want this tour, so why not? Plus, I really wanted to do a short film for "Stranger in Moscow." HIStory was really my most personal album and I want people to understand it as best as possible.

Shana has been checking on me on a daily basis. Making sure I'm getting my sleep and eating and whatnot. As much as I let her know, she truly doesn't know how appreciative I am of that. Sometimes she'd ask if she could accompany me on set or during rehearsal, but I'd have to tell her that she couldn't because I wouldn't want anyone to think anything. I can't imagine seeing me and Shana all over the papers talking about an alleged affair. Because that would be the first thing people would say. And don't let Shayla catch wind of that. I'd be eaten alive...

I've actually seen and talked to Shana more than I've spoken to Shayla. It's crazy how I don't know how my wife is doing, but I know everything about Shana's day. I wonder how she's been feeling lately. Is she okay? Is her book coming along well? And... why haven't I called or gone to visit her? Because I know it would end in a fight I'm not willing to have. I sighed and swirled my feet around in the water. I still don't know how we got here, but I have no choice but to accept it now.

"He's over there." I heard Ralph say and turned around to see him pointing me out to Shayla. Speak of the devil. I must have thought her into existence. She looks beautiful. Radiant. Her sun-kissed skin glistened against the white sundress she was wearing as she made her way over to me. Her hair was bone straight. Big black sunglasses covered her eyes. And for once in a long time, she was smiling at me. I stood up to greet her. I'm surprised she's even here. How did she even find me? And did she gain weight?

"Hey Michael," she beamed and pulled me in for a hug, holding my hands in hers after we let go of each other. For once she was happy to see me. It was all in her face. Her body language. Everything. She missed me. Took her long enough.

"Hey... What brings you around here?" It was probably a terrible question to ask, but I had to know. Had to know how she even found me. I told her I was shooting a short film, not where I was shooting it.

She sucked her teeth. "'What brings you around here?' Not, 'hey, baby... how you doin...?'"

"You look radiant." I nodded as I looked her over. "You look beautiful." I didn't want to state the obvious and say that she had gained some weight. Anyone with eyes could see that she had gained weight in all the right places and her stomach...

"Thank you. So, do you. Funny how we're matching. Um..." she looked down at her white-painted toes. Her bone straight hair following her every move. Whenever she straightened her hair, which was rare, it made her look about ten years younger. She never really looked her age to begin with, but it was something about the straight hair that made her look twenty-years-old all over again. "I know we haven't seen each other in a while, so me coming here probably comes as a shocker to you right now."

"What's going on?" Whatever speech she had prepared, I need for her to scratch and get right to the point, because there's no way she'd come in here unannounced looking this good and she just has to say that we haven't seen each other in a while. Please. I know that. I created this distance for a reason.

"Here," she went inside her purse and pulled out an envelope.

"What's this?" I looked at her.

"Open it." She smiled.

I raised an eyebrow as I carefully opened the envelope. "This better not be anything crazy." It's been an interesting half of the year for us. Who knows what she has in this envelope? I pulled out its contents to find a sonogram photo. My heart started racing. I looked between Shayla and the sonogram in shock. "You-" I cleared my throat. "You're pregnant?!"

"Mmhm." She nodded, smiling. "In case you're confused..." She stood beside me and pointed her white painted nail at the sonogram. "That's two babies right there."

I turned to look at her. "You're kidding me."

"No." She smiled again. "You're gonna be a daddy to twins." I looked down at the sonogram and bit my lip. My heart almost broke with joy. I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout "thank you" to God. Instead, I turned to my wife, picked her up, spun her around, and for the first time in a long time, kissed her with so much love and happiness. She couldn't help but laugh. "Today makes seven weeks. I found out a couple of weeks ago. It didn't register the first time, so I had them do a couple more tests only for them to be just as right as before. I tried to tell you sooner, but I couldn't find you. And you weren't answering your phone, so..."

As much as I tried to hold them back, a couple of tears rolled down my cheeks anyway. "I'm sorry. I've been so busy with rehearsals, my short film, and the boys... You know I'm a workaholic."

"Well, that stops now." She wiped my tears away with her thumbs. "I want these babies. I know you do too. So, I'm slowing down tremendously. I'd love it if you did the same. These babies can't be healthy if we're not healthy. I need your support with this, okay?" I nodded. I couldn't even combat anything she had to say, because she was right. The boys' short film is almost done. I'm just about done with my own short film. And rehearsals for the tour end in August. We'll be fine. I'll do anything in my power to make sure this pregnancy lasts. "I was staying at one of the hideouts, but I've recently moved back into the ranch. It's more peaceful there than it is in the city, ya know?" I nodded. "So, what do you say, Daddy?"

I laughed. "I'll move back to the ranch with you. You need all the help you can get. God..." I looked down at her belly. She wasn't showing that much, but her hips and ass. Oh my God... She was definitely with children.

"There's one thing I have planned at the end of the month and then I'm taking it easy from there on out. I promise. I just want to go to Ohio on the twentieth. I'll just be gone for two weeks. I want to be with my mom for a while so I can learn a little something from her so I can carry these babies full-term. After that, nothing else. No traveling. Nothing. If anyone wants to see me, they're going to have to come to see me. My focus is on these babies. Nothing else."

"What'd the doctor say?"

"She said it's fine. Honestly, she said I don't have to restrict myself too much at all, but given what happened last time, she understands why I want to."

I took a deep breath. "Okay." I took her hand in mine and led her up the steps to the boys. "Boys, y'all didn't see your Tante walk through here?"

"Hey, Tante!" TJ turned away from the girl he was talking to and rushed over to hug Shayla. "When did you come in?"

"You're fine, baby. I went to see your Uncle first anyway." Shayla laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "Where's Taj?"

"In his dressing room. I'll go get him." Taryll said after he hugged her.

"What brings you here?" TJ asked her.

"Well..." she looked up at me with a smile and put her sunglasses on top of her head.

"We'll wait until your brothers come back. Y'all are gonna be the first to know." I told him.

"It must be good news because I haven't seen y'all this hugged up in years. Y'all alright?" TJ looked between us suspiciously.

I laughed. "Better than ever, TJ." I kissed Shayla's forehead. They say having a baby can either make or break a relationship. Ours seemed pretty broken, but the fact that Shayla is pregnant with not one but two babies makes me more than hopeful that this will make our relationship better.

"Hey, Tante." Taj managed a smile as he came over to hug Shayla. After letting her go, he looked between us in confusion. "What's going on with you guys? Y'all love each other again?"

"Your Uncle has some news for you. You guys will be the first to know, so do us a favor and keep it to yourselves, okay?" Shayla asked.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Taryll inquired. Shayla and I looked at each other and laughed. Trying to figure out who was going to be the one to say it at this point. But she said I was going to be the one, so we'll stick to that.

"We're pregnant with twins." I smiled proudly.

"No way! Congratulations, Tante!" TJ beamed and pulled Shayla in for a hug.

"I know you're happy, Uncle Mike." Taj smiled sincerely at me. Just like me, the news of having a baby seemed to make all his sorrow go away.

"More than you know." The love I had for Shayla resurfaced stronger than before. I couldn't help but watch her with pride and love as my nephews hugged and congratulated her on the pregnancy. I promise to be there every step of the way. I can't mess up this time. She needed me then. I can't screw up like last time. She needs me more than ever. I can't mess up. I can't. The life of my babies depends on it.

VII

July 21, 1996

I haven't slept in the same room as my wife for a long time. The day she told me she was pregnant, I moved back into the ranch with her. We've slept in the same bed. You can almost say that everything was back to normal. That was far from the truth. Add a bunch of hormones to the mix and I don't know what I'm dealing with. And it didn't help that she had bad morning sickness either. I'm normally awake at five or six in the morning anyway, but it was something about accompanying her to the toilet as she vomited that I did not like. I guess that's what comes with new parenthood though. We didn't have to deal with pregnancy symptoms last time. I guess because she's having twins, it's twice as much as it'll ever be.

My nephews and I wrapped up "Why" and I wrapped up "Stranger in Moscow" quickly after telling Nick Brandt that Shayla was pregnant, and I really wanted to be there with her every step of the way. He understood. We wrapped up and the short film was nothing less than perfect. Now I just rehearse with Kenny for the tour. After rehearsals, I was with Shayla. The happiness that she was pregnant was still there. The arguments were nonexistent. We didn't have time to argue. No time to be upset with each other. There was a lot at stake. It wasn't worth it. But even though I was back with my wife and I loved her more than anything because she was carrying my children, I still felt empty. Because while we're excited for the twins, everything is wrapped up in them. As it should be! But our relationship has no substance. Nothing to lean back on. Once our children are born, we would have already lost ourselves. We'd just be two people raising our children with a love for each other as the parents to our children, but nothing more. That part of us is no more. And I fear that will never come back. I want to bring it up to Shayla, but I don't want to upset her. She can do without that conversation right now. The goal is to keep her happy. Not stressed or worrisome.

Yesterday, I dropped her off at the airport and wished her a safe flight back to Ohio. Once she landed in Cincinnati, she called to tell me she was okay and that she would call me when she could and would see me once she got back in August. She explained that going home was so important to her because she wanted to be in her Mother's company during this critical time. That's understandable. She wanted to learn. Get all the tips and tricks on how to get through a successful pregnancy. And most of all, she wanted to be showered in her parent's love right now. We'd been through a lot this year, so it made sense. I couldn't even fault her for wanting to go to Ohio for a couple of weeks. As I said, whatever she needed to keep her happy and to keep the babies healthy.

A light knock came to my hotel room. I stood up and went to open it. When Shayla left for Ohio, I decided to get a hotel at the Universal Hilton. Getting hotels away from home was my way of feeling like I was out doing something. I couldn't stay at the ranch for too long. That's why we had properties everywhere. But staying at hotels always made me feel like I was on the go. A staycation, if you will.

"Hey," Shana smiled nervously. I smiled as I took in her attire. Miniskirts were all the rage for the past couple of years for younger women and Shana wasn't exempt. I could tell she was extra careful about what she wore to see me. A black and white miniskirt and a black t-shirt. The summer sun had done her skin well and whatever perfume she had on this evening reminded me of drinking coconut water on the beaches of Cancun.

"You're early." I let her in and locked the door.

"Would you rather I had been late?" She smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"Not at all. What were you doing when I called?" I asked as I sat on the couch.

She sat down beside me. "Nothing really. Just catching up on the evening news. I worked out earlier today, so I just decided to wind down."

"You never told me you work out."

"I run. That's about it." She shrugged.

"That's good! You've got to stay on top of your body. You can't just let yourself go, ya know? That's never a good thing."

"You're right about that. I'd hate to not be agile when I'm older because I didn't take care of myself when I was younger."

"Stuff like that really catches up to you. It's good that you've got a hang of it now."

"Yeah..." She nodded and looked around the suite. "Why are you here? I thought you said you moved back in with Shayla?"

I cleared my throat. "She went to Ohio for a few weeks. I took that as an opportunity to relax somewhere else."

"So, I take it you all are back on speaking terms?"

I nodded. "She's-" I stop myself before I tell her that Shayla is pregnant. I stop myself because I don't want to tell her why Shayla is in Ohio. I stop myself because what's going on between me and Shayla had nothing to do with what's going on between me and Shana. "We're back on speaking terms."

"That's good. I was rooting for you guys. Honestly. I couldn't see you two apart."

"Me neither..." I nodded. "She's doing well. But, how are you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just swamped at work. I'm looking for another job. I feel like my time with Sandy has run its' course."

"See? That makes two of us." I stood up and went to the kitchen to pour two glasses of wine. "I'm still in search of a manager, but even without one, Sandy's days as my manager are numbered. Where are you looking for work?"

"Well, first of all, I'm still going to auditions. I'm still booked and busy, so that's good. Other than that, I'm really just looking for more work in entertainment. Once you work in entertainment, you can't not work in it, right? I may find something in Las Vegas or something. Who knows?"

I handed her a glass and took a sip from my own as I sat back down beside her and leaned back on the couch. "If you ever need any help or leads for anything, I'm always here. Just because we're not working together anymore doesn't mean I'm not available to you. You've got my personal line. Use it for anything. I promise I'll do the best I can."

"Aww, thank you, Michael." She smiled. "That means a lot. I'll keep that in mind."

"Remember, it's not what you know it's-"

"Who you know." She finished my sentence.

"Exactly." I nodded and reached for the remote to turn on the television. "Did you want to watch a movie or something? I wasn't doing anything when I called you. I just made a couple of phone calls. I'd hate for you to be bored."

"I'm never bored when I'm with you, Michael. Come on. You should know that by now." She giggled.

"I'm flattered." I laughed. "I can be boring sometimes though. What you see on television isn't always true." I looked her over. She looked so nervous. I don't know why. We've always been comfortable with each other on set. Where is this nervousness coming from? I sat up and rubbed her arm. "Are you okay?"

She blushed a deep red. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"I'm sensing this nervous energy from you."

\

She turned to look at me. "You really want to know the truth?"

"Absolutely." I nodded.

She took a deep breath. "I've never been alone in a room with a man before... Is that weird?" She winced.

I shook my head no. "Not at all."

"Are you sure? Because many women my age have done this and more. Remember, you're my first kiss, so being in a room with you alone is a first too."

"There's nothing wrong with that at all. So what you haven't done what other women have? We all move at our own pace. That's what I like about you, Shana. Everything with you is new. It's fresh. You're a breath of fresh air. In every way possible. Don't doubt yourself because of that. And please, please, please, relax! You've got me over here nervous." We laughed. "Girl, we've been together on set for an entire month. You've kicked it with me in my trailer. Just me and you. You mean to tell me a little hotel room makes you nervous?"

"A hotel room is just so intimate, Michael..." She giggled.

"And a trailer isn't?" I shook my head and laughed. "Your naivety has to be one of the cutest things about you, Shana."

"You think so? Other guys run away at that."

"I'm not like other guys." I looked at her. She blushed deeply again and took a sip of wine from her glass. Watching her was like watching a work of art. So exquisite and rare. The sun had given her skin a radiant glow and I couldn't stop staring. "Are-" I cleared my throat. "Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Are you sure? I can order room service." I offered.

"No, it's okay. I've already eaten."

"That's good." I nodded. We continued to drink our wine and joked about how much fun we had on set two months ago. Whatever was playing on the television had been ignored long ago. We were wrapped up in our own conversation to care about what was being talked about on the Tell-Lie-Vision.

The sun had finally set, and we found ourselves cuddled up on the couch. I felt comfortable, safe, and happy with Shana. And I know she felt the same. I kissed the back of her head and rubbed my nose against her hair that smelled of tropical fruits.

"I think it's about time I get ready to go, Michael." She said a little above a whisper.

"So soon?" I groaned as I pulled her closer to me.

"Yeah. I've got work tomorrow morning."

"Work, shmurk." We laughed. "Stay with me. I've missed your company."

"Some of us do have to work, ya know?" She laughed.

"Tell Sandy you have an emergency or something. Stay with me." I kissed her ear and started to nibble on her earlobe.

"Michael..." She sighed.

"What time do you have to be at work?" I whispered.

"Eleven."

"I'll take you."

"You'll what?"

"I'll take you and I'll pick you up after. How does that sound?"

She turned around to face me. "You'd really do that?"

"If you spend the night with me."

She thought for a moment before finally nodding yes. "Alright. You got me. I can't be late, Michael. Sandy loves me because I'm always on time."

"I won't make you late. I promise." I kissed her ear, cheek and finally her lips. She turned so that she was laying on her back and brought her hand up to my face. I kissed her deeply, passionately, lovingly. I want this to last. I haven't felt this alive in a long time and I wanted nothing more than for this to last for the rest of the night. She kissed me back with the same amount of passion. This wasn't a one-sided affair. This was more than mutual.

I sat up and helped her stand up. I took her hand in mine and as if it was God telling me, one glance at my wedding band told me that I should tell Shana to leave. Shayla's pregnant. I can't let Shana stay. But I don't want her to leave...

I let her stay.

I stand up and kiss her frontal lobe. "Are you okay?"

"I'm always okay when I'm with you." I smile a closed-lipped smile and led her to the bedroom. She closed the door behind us. I took my shirt and folded it neatly, placing it on the dresser. I could tell the act alone embarrassed her. She had never seen me with my shirt off before.

"I want you to be comfortable. If you're not, let me know how we can make sure you're comfortable." I told her as I got into bed and turned on the light on the nightstand.

"This is a lot of firsts for me. I've never slept in bed with a man before." She said as she sat on the other side of the bed, crisscross applesauce.

I shook my head. "I have a t-shirt in the drawer you can wear. I want you to be comfortable, Shana. Don't be so uptight..." I laughed. She went in the dresser and pulled out a shirt then hurried to the restroom. I didn't know it'd be this bad. Sheesh. She finally came out in one of my white t-shirts with her clothes folded in her hands. After placing them on the dresser beside mine she crawled into bed, close to me and wrapped a leg around my waist. "We'll be out of here at ten sharp. I promise." I kissed her forehead, turned off the light and wrapped my arm around her.

"Michael?" Shana said a little above a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Although you're married... For some reason, this feels so right with you." I licked my lips and swallowed. How do you respond to something like that? I kissed the back of her head, which caused her to turn around to face me. Even in bed, I was taller than her. She was so petite, but with the right number of curves. My shirt looked so good on her. I couldn't help but look at her body in awe. She looked up at me then nervously pulled me in for a kiss. I kissed her back, pulling her closer to me by her waist. There was no one else in the room. Just her and I. Enjoying each other's presence. As simple as it was, I enjoyed kissing her. Like everything else with her, it felt new, fresh. A breath of fresh air. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying this.

I had a mind clear. A mind clear of any guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. Or any other negativity that could surround this. Kissing and lying in bed with her wasn't right, but it didn't feel wrong. I felt like I was home, but I wasn't. Like, I was on vacation. Because essentially, that's what not being at home is, right? And it felt good.

She laid back and took my hand, placing it on the brim of my t-shirt that she was wearing. That was my cue. She wanted to take this to the next level just as much as I did. With her permission, I raised the t-shirt above her head to reveal her nakedness. She must have had a few tricks up her own sleeve because I didn't expect this. She was naked in my honor. Her dark skin contrasted beautifully against white angelic sheets. Her breasts brown and free, soft and firm, nipples erect and dark like my intentions. I took my bottom lip into my mouth as I ran my fingers up and down every hill and valley of her body. I positioned myself above her and kissed her. Shana's fingers shook slightly as she touched my face. Kissing her cheeks, neck, breasts, taking each nipple into my mouth was a treat. Her aroma. The pheromones that released from her skin and mine were loud and evident. I wanted her and it was clear that she wanted me. Once I licked my way down to her navel, I could hear her breathing deepen as I opened her legs.

Her yoni was dark and beautiful... Almost as beautiful as my wife's. I licked along the folds of her flesh, looking up as I pleased her with my mouth. I hadn't given oral sex to anyone else since Shayla. This was new. This was exciting. She looks as good as she tastes. Fresh, like a peach. Just like Shayla, she was a waxer. There was a difference between how a waxed pussy felt verses the prickly hairs of a shaved one. When Shayla switched over to waxing, it made both of our lives better. I could tell Shana waxed. The skin of her pussy was smooth against my face. No hair holding the sweat of the day. Just pure pussy. She held my head and pushed my face deeper, rolling her hips against my lips. God, she tastes so good. This is what a beautiful woman is supposed to taste like. If you would have told me I'd be giving head to my manager's secretary, I would have called it blasphemy. But I can certainly say that I'm being blessed right now. She tasted so good. I parted her lips with my fingers and twirled my tongue around her clit, then started to suck it gently. She sighed as her fingers touched my face, looking down to watch me savor her. She was lucky. And she knew it.

"Oh my God..." She called for God as she rolled her hips against my mouth again and again and again until I felt her shudder against my face. I interlocked my fingers on her stomach so that she wouldn't try to push me away as I savored every bit of her orgasm. She took deep breaths and tried to lift my hands from her stomach. I'm not done yet though. This woman tastes amazing and she doesn't even know it. Shit.

I stood up and watched her in her post-orgasmic nakedness. She didn't try to cover herself or anything. Just lay there with her eyes closed trying to gather herself. I was surprised she chose to stay that way as she had previously spoken of how shy she was. But I guess she isn't shy anymore. It was probably the friendship we built. Or the experience we just shared.

I carefully crawled atop of her and kissed her. She drunkenly kissed me back, still trying to regain her composure and opened her legs for me like the doors of a church were opened to all sinners. I slid my pants and boxers off, kicking them to the floor. Being naked with her didn't even make me feel nervous. I could have cared less about the vitiligo spots that my wife had grown accustomed to seeing. Although Shana wasn't accustomed to them, I'm sure the sight of them wouldn't surprise her either. I rolled over to the nightstand and pulled out a condom. Being married, I didn't have to use condoms, but being with a new woman, I knew the risks. Shayla was pregnant. I don't need another woman carrying my seed.

"Is this something you want to do?" I asked. She nodded. I need a verbal yes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Michael. I can't imagine my first time being with anyone else but you..." First time. Do I really want that burden? Shayla was the last woman I had been with that was a virgin. She's my wife though. So, we've had years of experience, love, and connection. Shana isn't my wife. She's my friend. What if she goes crazy over me? "Michael?"

I looked her in the eye and kissed her. She opened her legs a little more, welcoming me into a brand-new paradise. I can't pass this up.

I rubbed the tip of my dick against the lips of her yoni and slowly started to press. Several sharp gasps escaped her lips as she winced. I took a deep breath, kissed her, and pushed inside slowly but surely.

"Stop, stop, stop. It hurts." She pressed against my chest. I pulled out. Made it comfortable for her and tried again. This time she held her breath and once I was all the way in, she accepted with a long exhale as she accommodated the size of my dick. She hadn't the slightest idea of what to do, but it's okay. We'll work on it. Shayla has had years of experience. Shana unfortunately does not. It's an honor to be her first. To be the teacher in her first experience with a man. As every man after me will be compared to no one else other than me. She took deep breaths as she looked up at me. We were one. And I could tell all over her face that she couldn't believe it. Her vagina was so wet, so hot, so alive. This sin was well documented with the shed of blood and a kiss.

I slowly began to stroke inside her. My breathing deep, each exhale a plea for her not to change her mind, because I needed this. I longed for this. It was new, uncharted territory. New pussy. I hadn't had new pussy in years. And this shit felt so good. She looked down to witness our connection, then winced as she looks into my eyes. Her face a wonderful ugliness at the pleasure I was giving her. I bent down to kiss her lips and she wrapped her legs tight around me. When it started to feel too good, she stopped kissing me and brought her lips to my ear. Her breathing erratic, singing my accolades. I moved faster. Made skin slap. Like my wife had done for years, Shana called for God repeatedly at each stroke even though he was nowhere to be found in this room. It was just the two of us committing adultery under His watchful eye.

She claimed that she was my groupie. My biggest fan. Wondered how she got so lucky to be with me. "Oh my God. I'm with Michael Jackson. I'm actually with you!" I smiled. I needed that.

I became rough with her. Flipped her over, told her to arch her back, and put her ass in the air. I reentered her to be met with a long, sensual groan escaping her beautiful lips. I made skin slap again. I thought of my wife. Thought of how I was really having sex with Shana. Thought about how good this felt. Thought about how long it's been since my wife gave me top tier sex. Thought about... this nut.

It had been a long time since I felt new pussy. But my stamina would not let me succumb and cum. Being with the same woman is amazing but being with a new woman made me feel refreshed. I don't know if it was the adrenaline or the excitement. The way Shana reacts to me versus my wife or what... I just... let me stop and focus on what I have right in front of me. I ran my fingers through Shana's hair. The sharp contrast between Shayla's hair and Shana's was evident. My fingers ran through Shana's hair so effortlessly, something that was difficult to do with Shayla's hair as they frequently got caught in the kinks and coils. Shana's hair felt like heaven just like her pussy. Soft and smooth like silk and warm. Oh, so warm. It curved perfectly to the shape of my dick. My God, I do not want to leave.

We continued to integrate in sin as I turned her to her side and lay behind her. Lifting her leg for easy entry. She continued to sing for me. Moaning my name. Telling me how I was the best. Continuing to wonder how she got so lucky. She turned her face to me and gave me sloppy kisses as I continued to fuck her from the side. Goddamn, this shit is good. Being inside her, not only could I feel, but I could hear how wet she was for me. Shiiiiiiittttt.

I continued to chase orgasm as I got back atop of her, still inside her paradise. I pushed her legs back to her breasts. Her hands on my waist, raking my flesh. Leaving evidence of her having been intimate with me. Her toes curled as she closed her eyes. After that first time, she not once told me to stop. Just begged for more. Probably because she didn't know the next time, she would be with me in this way.

"Do you think you could love me?" I stared into her eyes for a moment, still thrusting. Not answering. I let go of her legs and lay atop of her again, pulling her legs around my waist, quietly asking her to wrap them around me. After a while, I finally said, "I already do." The sex is my answer to that question. This is meaningless to me. All of this is meaningless. Her face contorted into pain, but the way she licked her bottom lip, then bit it told me all I needed to know. It was a painful pleasure. A look I hadn't seen in years.

I never want to forget this moment. The beautiful ugliness of her face. The way she called my name. How she begged for me to go deeper, harder, faster. How she took and enjoyed every inch of this dick. How she crooned that she loved me. My biggest fan. How she still couldn't believe that she was having sex with me. I want this etched into my memory forever.

I gave her deep penetration over and over and over. Then I'm on fire. Terrified and excited all at once. This is wrong, yet I can't stop. I won't stop, because if anything I was safe inside these walls. Right or wrong, I was safe inside the walls of Shana Mangatal.