"What are we doing here again?" I asked 2 as we sat in the waiting room.
"After you and I had sex, I had an itch."
"Eww. You're telling me you have crabs?" I asked.
"No, I'm telling you that you might have crabs and gave them to me."
"Naw. I'm clean. I've never had itches or bites down there. You must have had sex with someone else or you need to wash or something, because that definitely did not come from me."
"Mr. and Mrs. Jackson." The nurse called.
"Huh? She's not my- Oww!"
"Shut up and come on." 2 was one of those naggy I-get-what-I-want type of hoes. I have to get rid of her too at some point. She took my hand and led me back through the hallway.
"You know damn well we aren't married. Hell, we're not even dating!"
"Michael, it sounded good to me. Stop trippin over the small stuff."
"This isn't small. This is some serious-"
"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson." The nurse smiled as we walked in the room. I cringed at the sound of her being called "Mrs. Jackson." I could never marry someone like her. Thank God I married Victoria. "So, Mrs. Jackson, you called saying you had an itch on your vagina?" The doctor asked.
"Yes." 2 smiled, casually crossing her legs. Ew...I shouldn't even be in here.
"May I be excused? I can't handle this type of stuff." I asked.
"Michael, I need support and you're my support system right now." 2 snapped.
"I swear; I'm going to be sick." I sat back down.
"Anyway, let's check this out. Follow me, Mrs. Jackson."
"Michael, don't leave. You better be here when I come back."
"I will." I fake smiled. When the door shut, I opened my phone and called 5.
"Thank God!" She answered.
"What?" I asked.
"Michael, I'm pregnant."
"I'm not the father."
"Duh! It's Mark's!"
"So what was your purpose in telling me to call you?"
"So I could tell you the good news!"
"Thank you. Oh and if it's a boy. I'm naming him after you."
"Why? That's Mark's child. You can't name your fiancés' baby after a man you used to sleep with."
"I've always wanted to name my son 'Michael.' Now I have a reason to."
"Please don't name your child after me."
"Oh, Michael. You worry too much. Toodles!" After she hung up, I blocked her number. I don't ever want to hear from her again. Next thing you know; she'll be on my door step telling me she's in love with me. I don't have time for that. I have a wife and kids to care for.
2 returned to the room crying and sat beside me.
"What's wrong?" I asked, patting her back.
"Mr. Jackson, your wife does not have Pubic Lice. What she has is Bacterial Vaginosis."
"Wow... Damn..." I stood up and headed toward the door. "How does that happen?"
"There are a variety of ways-"
"Is sex a cause?"
"Yes. Unprotected sex is a cause."
"Whew. Well, we had protected sex. So..." I sighed a breath of relief and bent down in front of 2. "Look, I'm terribly sorry this happened to you. But see, this isn't my problem. I have a wife and two beautiful children that I have to take care of. I really hope you get better." I kissed her forehead and headed towards the door.
"Mr. Jackson, where are you going? Your wife needs you!"
"This woman is not my wife."
As soon as I got to the car, I called V.
"Hey, Michael," She sighed into the phone.
"Hey, baby. Look, your birthday is in three days."
"So, I was thinking your mom should keep the boys all week. That way we can have some time alone time. What do you think?" I overheard her talking with her mom.
"That's great and all, Michael, but my mom is busy after this weekend."
"Really?" I sighed.
"Yeah, sounded like a great idea though." I know my wife. Victoria sounds so upset and sarcastic right now it isn't even funny.
"Victoria, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm excited for this weekend."
"You don't sound excited."
"Michael, I'm tired and my back hurts from sleeping on that couch. I'm not even going to be home until around seven."
"Tell your mom that you're tired."
"And listen to her bicker about me not spending enough time with her? No, thank you."
"I'll go out with her and the boys. You go have some time to yourself." I suggested.
"Michael, my Mother doesn't even like you. Never has, never will. You know this. She wouldn't be able to last one minute with you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Forget it, Michael," she sighed. "Just take care of your business, baby. I'll see you at eight." She hung up. Victoria sounded exhausted. Tonight, I'll treat her to something really special...that is if 4 doesn't keep me out too late. My phone began to vibrate. 3 texted me. I didn't bother reading the message, just replied with a simple
I'm on my way, beautiful.